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Power of love - when you are slipping and falling in your life and need to stand up again

Posted on July 7, 2018 at 8:40 PM Comments comments (0)
When things are bad around us and we think we are going to fall we have to stop and reach out again for the power...it feels like we are falling and there is no control over our circumstances...but we need The power to keep living... High stress living that you never chose....those circumstances you never wanted....a child with a disability.... loss or trauma....is high stress where we feel broken and lost and weak...

 

the word 'slipping' as used in psalms (94) is the word 'mowt' (hebrew and chaldee dict.) meaning to slip shake fall, be knocked out of course, exceedingly fall down.... "When I said my foot is slipping...your love...O Lord...supported me..." the word 'love' here ('chekad'...hebrew and chaldee) means mercy, kindness, favour, good deed....when we are struggling and almost getting knocked off our course for life....someones kindness or act of kindness to us helps us to keep going on

it supports us

it is love

that is what real love does.....anything else is not love (why are those people in your life?)

 

the word 'support' used here (ca' 'ad - hebrew and chaldee dictionary) means 'held me....comfort, establish, refresh, hold up'.... our love to each other can do that....and empower each other to go on.....and divine love from above...does the same to us and through us out to those around you.....

 

We need the power to keep living

 

Like that pillar of light I saw in Jenolan caves....it was broken in two ....but it looked like the light connected it...

 

 

The funny thing is that the synapse connections in our brain are like that two pieces of the pillar not touching but the synapse connections in our brain do the same there is a gap where neurons transmit the power across....they connect but not physically it is the transmitter or chemical charge that is connecting them....it keeps our brain running and the neurotransmitters that cause us to function....our brain system our body.. (carlson 2005 p.111) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemical_synapse

 

. The power jumps across the connection Like that painting of creation where the finger of God is reaching to the finger of adam but they never actually touch....the power will jump across to man if he reaches out for it....just like the message jump across the synapse of our brain....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

People use drugs that imitate their brain chemicals and will bind onto the site of the receptors like benzodiazepines.....such as Xanax... we are born with those same neurotransmitters to help us cope with stress....but a child who has been abused or traumatized will have less of them as they grow older and will (Cozolino 2012) continually be trying to get relief from high stress at any little upset...they might use drugs that imitate that brain chemical to get free of anxiety... If their mother had nurtured them and spent time with them....they will develop more benzodiazepine receptors in their brainand will cope better with life stressors...

 

The power of a mother's care is very strong and affects even the brain chemicals of a child for coping with stress later in life.....she is essential to her child's resilience for life....

 

When we face life with waves of stress passing over us we have to hang on and we have to reach out to the power that we need....divine grace....love....peace that will buffer the knocks we get in life.... maybe not a drug...maybe a power that is higher...

 

We have to go deeper....what we have that is surface is not enough....we need the power to live...we need the grace to go on....and we need each other to stand up when the battle is hard and we are weary...

 

We were meant to carry each other ....people have forgotten that they need to connect in order to be strong when the winds of change come....material values wont help you stand...you need actually to have something deeper something stronger....relationships valued more than things....

 

and reaching up....for the power....and giving out to each other....

 

you will stand whatever comes your way.....

 

you thought you would have a trouble free life? ...that may not be so....but you will grow stronger if you work your way through it all ......and there will be a purpose revealed along the way as you keep going and don’t give up......

 

...the power will come to you and transform your life...again and again... so that you can live and not give up....so that you can run the race you were meant to run...and go where you should go....the purpose of your life needs the power to do it....

 

all the best

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anndrea x

A psalm for the desperate and distressed...

Posted on July 6, 2018 at 10:10 PM Comments comments (0)


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When our life gets rough....like the sea in turmoil.....rising...falling...too deep for us....the waves dash against us and pull us down...we get tangled in the seaweed and its dragging us down and under....we struggle to breathe and we think we are going to die ....we want to give up.....

 

If we call out to the divine (God)...if we call from out of the depths...he will hear us...its supernatural....its real....He hears He comes....if you call him

 

call out to him.....

 

He rises from his throne...he hears your cries...these are not deaf ears...he rises at the sound of your cries....I want you to know he is hearing you....

 

 

......and he will act on your behalf...whatever the battle is...

 

.....the earth trembles in the imagery of the psalms I want to share it with you (psalm 18:7-16) the earth quakes with his power as he rises to meet you

 

he is angry at what has happened to you

 

smoke rises from his nostils....consuming fire comes from his mouth even burning coals....he wants to bring justice now he will burn out the way with his words...His voice will speak....

 

He parts the heavens and comes down...dark clouds are under his feet......the psalm says he mounted the cherubim and flew....soaring on the wings of the wind....He is amazing...

 

our mighty warrior comes through the skies to fight for us...he rides in the night....

 

making the darkness his covering his canopy around him....and the dark rain clouds of the sky....out of the brightness of his presence clouds advance...with hailstones and bolts of lightning...

 

He thunders with his voice from heaven....he shoots his arrows and scatters the enemies....great bolts of lightning...that routs them...

 

our fighter our rider riding through the skies on the cherubim shooting his arrows for us all for us

 

your fighter comes for you and reaches down from on high

and takes hold of you

drawing you out of the deep waters.....rescuing you from those powerful enemies that were too strong for you... those that confronted you on that terrible day of disaster..

 

....he will be your support ....your stay (mi' shen and mi'shan words used here from hebrew chaldee mean 'to support, protector, and sustenance')

. ..when no one else is there for you ..... he rescues you because you mean everything to him more than you know.....

 

he will bring you out into a bigger greater place than than you have known before....your life will change.....

 

your defender comes for you.....

 

if you call out to him he will come....even from when you call from the depths of the deepest sea...you are not alone.... no matter how deep it gets..

 

in all your battles....when it feels like you are losing....you are not....someone is fighting for you....

 

all the best for your life

 

 

loving you care for you

 

Anndreaxxx

 

 

 


The day I forgot to pray...and being on call...

Posted on July 5, 2018 at 8:25 PM Comments comments (0)
When its really cold in winter in the Blue mts I light the fire in the mornings for my son since he gets up so early and for myself because it makes me feel so cosy and relaxed and I can do my writing....he loves to sit by the fire and watch the flames flickering...he actually goes a little quieter than usual as he is a noisy boy and special needs and always so hyperactive....I think 'this is good' he's settling down... he sits on the couch with his mp3 and stares at the fire....

 

There's a need for all of us to 'settle down' take time....find some rest ...find some quietness because it is then we start to find ourselves...we start to listen to whats going on in our own heart own soul in our own life.....

 

I lost my voice lately and the doctor thought it was I was speaking too much he said with an amused smile on his face....so did a few other friends....nonsense I said in a croaky voice...but I do talk alot....I run around alot I get excited go to the gym and go for walks and dance , organize my son all the time, and delegate to my daughters heaps... and visit places and see people and I thought maybe just maybe I was getting tired.....Sleep apparently is when you give your brain a rest....and I was staying up late ......alot.....i realized the need for rest is when I give my best and get the best from myself....and Im alot happier too...

 

When my kids were really young I used to go out side and sit in thelong golden grass where we had built a house overlooking the sea....we had to move later into the city when my kids were still young and it was an older house which my husband (then) 'did up' or renovated painfully slowly....in thelittle house I would rise early before anyone else in my house, in the freezing cold in Christchurch NZ and light the fire .....there would be frost on the ground outside....I would sit by the fire, and read and study and write....and read the words in the bible....I found peace...I found comfort by having time out....not running round like a crazy thing like I usually did...after the kids...running their lives doing everything

I could sit in thepeace and listen to my heart I really needed to....

 

Our confidence and strength comes from those times alone...on our own we need to retreat from the words and demands of other people, other pressures....we need to get away get aside....go into a secret place for ourselves....and find a new kind of power in our lives to live....people burn out people crack they needed to stop and rest...and build it into their lives...like you can run on empty...no way...

 

you want force you want power in your life to live? You want to be able to cope with adversity and what life brings?

 

you have to stop and rest I found it in the book of Isaiah 30:14-16 the words retreat and rest....

 

returning to yourself to sit in quietness will build your strength again...your energy the word 'rest' (nachath hebrew/chaldee dictionary) means to descent or rest and to let alone and withdraw and (nuwach...)to dwell stay, make to rest.....when you actually take the time to do that and to think ...study ...mediate...thats when you can start to hear direction for yourself and to see things from another perspective...

 

'in quietness and confidence will be your strength' the word 'quietness' (shaqat hebrew/chaldee dictionary) means to settle rest be still.....

 

and confidence...(bitchah)is to find a place of refuge, to have security...(the fact) and trust (the feeling) assurance, boldly. without care, having hope...

 

The word 'strength' (gebuwrah) means force, valour, mastery, victory, might, power.... out of that time of rest you can find mastery of your life....mastery of the things you are trying to do, master of skills.....you have to have time alone... You want to be strong? You want to be great you have to take time out....you have to think....and wait and see what you need to know....get some divine direction..... Being busy on the outside can become like auto drive you are living off adrenalin and you can hear or see the important things that need to be attended to they are blocked off by your busyness...

 

You can start to dry up and wither becoming thirsty and hungry in your soul.... needing something more and you cant get it running around you cant find it buying things....its not material what you need....it is emotional...its spiritual ....something your soul needs...it needs to drink.... it needs time out....

 

One of those times years ago when I was 27 years old I decided the night before I was going to get up really early and do some searching for what I wanted to know....seeking for answers....

 

I said before I went to sleep ‘wake me up’ to God and to myself... At 3am I heard like a trumpet sound in the distance and a voice said wake up it could have been a dream or whatever who knows? I woke suddenly looked at the clock and saw how early it was, you’re kidding me I thought and drifted back to sleep...just too early I thought..

 

At 5am I got up and did some reading I looked in the bible and saw psalm 62 about a man being attacked....but thought ok and then nothing more of it...

 

I got the kids ready for school when the phone rang...it was a lady one of the pastors wives from the church She said ‘Peter morrow, (pastor of another big church in the city)got attacked last night...he’s seriously hurt and in hospital in intensive care...” Why? what happened..... Someone came to his house at 3am in the morning with a balaclava on and holding a machete...someone with mental problems who was angry with the church...

 

.when Peter opened the door the man started swinging the machete...and attacked him.... Peter’s wife and daughters were away but his two grown sons upstairs came running down and found what was happening and their injured father....they restrained the man and held him down until the police came.....and the ambulance and took their wounded father to hospital... I said what....?

 

I was meant to get up at that time 3am I did wake and I went back to sleep I had missed it....whoops... I felt bad yet I knew things were still in control and maybe other people not as slack as me had prayed....I realized the word I found this morning was about him.... There are things happening around us all the time if we think to do something its usually for a reason.......

 

The man Peter, was a great man, a preacher who ran the biggest church in our city...a great teacher..... I heard him speak many times and he said that a man is not worth tuppance unless he was willing to go through the hard times and let it work gold in his life....it jolted me out of my feelings at the time that why should I suffer ? why doesnt anyone else? point of fact we all do at some time.....it can work something deeper in you and for you...

 

he had two grown sons who were decent boys they were young and good guys they stood up and protected their dad whent he attack came I heard his wife talk on the radio one dayand she said they were just thinking how everything was going so well and that nothing really bad had happened to them...I dont think it was a jinx thing...but no matter how comfortable you are the time can come when you could topple...you need to make sure what you have built your life on....if it will stand the fire or the storms...it has to be real...family relationships need to be right....one day that person could be gone...

 

 

. The man survived but it was traumatizing ordeal and I doubt he was ever the same again....it was going to happen...the praying I woke up for was to help him I just didnt know at the time... he needed divine protection..and someone was trying to let me know....the angels were there he would survive.....

 

If we are quiet and listening we can hear the guidance we crave for....what we need for our children what we really want or ourselves...we can be complacent with our lives and think all we need are material things....actually the opposite....its the other stuff we really need.... we can lull ourselves with all our comforts forget whats important...

 

While other people are suffering all around us..then one day it could be us needing the help...pain crosses all boundaries... all classes and cultures of people...

 

it would do us well to reach out.... that could be us lying wounded on the ground one day....

 

One new years eve I went to a party thing with my family and we were singing....totally unaware that outside someone was getting beaten up in the alleyway a young guy by two others....a boy asleep in his mother’s car saw it and came running in to tell his mother in the meeting....she called the police and ambulance and they came and took the injured guy away...

 

I couldn’t believe later that it all happened while we were totally unaware in the building...outside on the step was a shoe lying by itself....the whole thing happened while we were singing...like a mr bean movie where things are happening all around him and he is totally oblivious....until it hits us then we stop being oblivious.... So many people are caught up with the themselves,their jobs, their house... and christians with organisation and meetings and not seeing the people lying injured on the the road....refusing to be the good samaritan they cross to the other side of the road and dont want to know about it.....why be a christian then? Deny deny deny.....

 

 

We need to stand up.....and do what we can before the days get darker and we wish we had done more....we need to wake up on the inside...our soul is asleep lulled by daily routine, business, money, possessions and our insatiable desire for more.....we need to wake up before something happens that we could have stopped or helped.. wake up on the inside.....someone is crying out for our help......we must stop listen before it is too late....its definitely going to be a wake up call next time....

 

 

 

all the best

 

Anndrea x

 

 

 


Where is mother bear today? the fall of evolution to selfish living...

Posted on July 5, 2018 at 8:20 PM Comments comments (0)
Its so strange that people talk about the drive in women to protect their young Its all evolutionary they say in psychology theories its all based on evolution theory...its in them Its innate For some reason evolution loses its power when a woman starts to feel the call of money or position or material things...or prestige... Suddenly there is no protective drive to fight for the child... Where is mother bear then?

 

Evolution falls down on that one Evolution serves to ensure the survival of the species Yet women have already walked away from the most primeval of all to protect and care for their child....from the wolves...from the dark forces... Instead of fighting for their child’s rights, or justice for the weaker in society or to help their child make it in life ... or stand up to the bullies of their child... They fight for jobs, they fight each other for power hits even in mediocre situations....they fight over compete over money and and things and have forgotten the value of another human being in their lives...namely their children....so much for evolution...its not that strong...not strong enough to catch her .....

 

they get jealous church women who love to be boss vie with each other for positions and jobs in the church and likewise female school teachers..there is rivalry and fighting that is regressive, juvenile and nasty...just like the high school mean girls... we find so funny...no so funny if you are the one being bullied or pushed around by them....

 

Yes the female of the species is more deadly when she fights especially for her young but she has forgotten about her young yes evolution has been stumped by human selfish nature and greed and ambition for self ...

 

if human beings were so evolutionary why would they kill themselves..?.no chance of the survival of the species if they do that... The theory of evolution does not take into account the complex nature of man he doesnt just live by instinct he thinks about himself...he judges himself...he is hard on himself....he judges others and is depressed by what others say about him and to him...he is depressed andheld down by what happened when he was a child....you think if we were strongly made by evolution there would be some way of wanting to live

no matter how hard life had been

the thing is

none of us can do it on our own...we need others in our lives to love andto love us

 

and if we were evolutionary we would want tolove

 

yet we fail to love ourselves if we felt we were worthless as children

and a mother might not take the time to love her daughter because she is so caught up with herself and her own career it slips her mind that her daughter is crying out to be loved for herself

 

I saw a young girl cry and leave a coffee shop she was say 15 years old and her mother shrugged and picked up her bag and followed her....her daughter looked anorexic something her mother said upset her...she sobbed and left...I felt brokenhearted for her...her mother couldnt understand what was wrong with her...

maybe is she had spent more time with her she would have....

 

if you dont build the bonds or build the bridges with your children or your teens there's no way they can share anything with you thats deep...thats really bothering them on the inside...

relationships take time

you cant just schedule love but you can schedule time and priorities and make your son your daughter your priority...

some parents are forced to later in life when their kid is on drugs and in rehab or in hospital with anorexia

forced to face a girl who wanted to be loved for herself...

 

Why do they want to swing from the chandeliers like sia's song says? maybe its the only way to feel free and feel loved and good about yourself....what girl doesnt want that? to be trully loved for herself...to no longer feel bad about who she is or that she is a failure in any way at all...I want you to know that you are not....you have value more than know and you just dont know it yet....the real you is curled up and sometimes dying on the inside...

 

in the chandelier song....the pictures on the walls of the room the young girl is dancing in are depressed and awful and the room is dingy thats how she feels on theinside that is her state

its down its low its dark...

 

she needs some love andshe needs to love herself she is starving for love

its not really about the food...thats just another disorder...its about her....she is hungering to be loved and find it in whatever way she can...

 

Vygotsky the psychologist believed that culture forms how our young grow....and how we teach them predicts how they will develop...if we are a culture teaching our children they are no good unless they look a certain way or have a certain IQ we are setting themup tofeel bad about themselves....we are giving them a challenge to fail....yet if we teach them they can do whatever they want to and that they are accepted they will take up the challenge and work hard...and they will grow in confidence....

 

Anorexia is a white middle class society disease....it is a social disease (Durand and Barlow 2004)....if our culture shapes our young people to not feel accepted unless they meet our criteria...we are setting them up for depression and failure...no they are not machines....and we fail them by doing this to them.... nobody is perfect not even you theparent why expect your child to be? Love them freely for who they are...before they stop loving themselves too...

 

 

all the best

 

Anndrea x

 

 


Talk to your heart....it is listening

Posted on July 5, 2018 at 8:05 PM Comments comments (0)
When we are distressed,when we are down....we need to go to that a quiet place to talk to ourselves, to God.....to our heart....we have to find our peace again....that deep pool of water inside ourselves in the depths of our soul..... its private its inner it is hidden.... we have to talk to our heart....we have to make sense of our world and our life and the things happening around us...we have to make sense of our emotions.....like that man I talked about Elijah...he was overwhelmed with feelings of fear, threat on his life people who swore to kill him, maybe he even trauma.....he talked to himself....he wanted to give up....he needed time out to think about things away from the crowds and the shouting, the high emotions...

 

 

talking to your heart is also called 'communing with your heart' - the word used in the psalms (77:6) was 'siyach' (Hebrew and Chaldee) meaning to ponder, to converse with oneself, to utter, complain, declare, meditate, pray, talk....

 

The research on the two parts of the human brain that has been written about by Cozolino (2010) and Seigels (2012) show that the left part of the brain is the more logical and tries to interpret and understand what the right side of the brain...our brain.....is feeling...because the threat and fight or flight part of the brain is situated on the right side (the amygdala).....

 

When we commune with our heart....it is possible that these two parts of the brain are coming together to find ourselves and be at one again....

 

the psalm describes how the person is struggling with distress, is crying out to God for help, and their soul refused to be comforted....deep hurt, pain, distress or grief makes us unable to be comforted by anyone at all....it is too deep....we are in trauma...

 

He is groaning feeling faint...the emotions are too overwhelming... .

 

he thought about his life, the past, and remembered the songs he used to sing in the night....

Sometimes a song can help us through a very bad situation....a song in the night...in the darkness in the sorrow when no one else can help us....we must help ourselves....to stand up again.....to not give up.....and we must not give up...

 

He said his heart mused or he communed with his heart and his spirit inquired...sometimes we have to do that...he has questions that need to be answered about his life - like why did this happen? will it be like this forever? Is there no favor on my life? will anything good ever happen to me again?

 

When we cannot comfort our soul....we have to wait in the stillness to talk to it again....reassure it....find our peace and our answers....

 

Elijah the man (1kings 8) I have talked about before...he asked a questions he had come to the end of himself...he was at a loss....he needed answers....in his despair.....and he had to wait in the stillness

all alone

by him

on his own.....

in his suffering he was asking about his life and purpose.....

and he got his answers.....it came from a small still voice....inside him or outside him? it doesnt matter he still heard it and the direction he got took him into the right path and action for his life.....

 

 

The famous research by psychiatrist Lev Vygotsky(1934) toward his Social Development Theory which he expounded the view that children develop according to their culture they are brought up in....and the social effects of that culture....had his own research on language

 

He believed there were three types that human beings used and developed - social speaking, private speech, and inner speech.... our social speech develops as a child as a way of adults giving us information and a way we can talk to others...our private speech or talking to ourselves can be a way of regulating ourselves....our emotions....as children develop Vygotsky noted that the private speech goes underground and as a child develops well with a stimulating environment their private speech will go into inner speech hidden and become part of their thoughts so that they merge........we all have the need to use our inner speech....that which is deep within us....it can help us cope with life when it is desperate hard and difficult to comprehend....

 

 

In the Psalm (4:4) talks of being angry and talking to your heart when that happens - to calm yourself down.... the word here is 'ameur' (Hebrew and Chaldee) meaning to consider, boast, challenge, declare, demand.... You talk to yourself...your heart and tell it what it needs to hear....even speak it out...declare that you will be ok.....whatever you are angry about....speak it out.....or if you need to tell yourself something do it.....instead of staying angry commune with your heart....regulate yourself by talking to it...the best of us will get angry everybody does....we have to sort it out....we cannot just push it down...or it becomes depression...

 

 

I remember when my husband left how my three daughters reacted in different ways, my eldest doubled over almost with physical pain.....and couldnt go to work that day at her school....my middle daughter didnt react......for a year and then she sobbed non stop for days on the anniversary of breaking up...she realized it was final suddenly....and what was bottled up came out of her grieving heart....my youngest would sleep all the time and didnt want to get up.....

 

When we are in pain....it affects us not only emotionally but physically and we can do alot of crazy things because we are running from the pain...looking for an answer... feeling lost....we cannot bottle it up because it will make you even worse.....we have to go to a place on our own and let it out ...... or find our path again....look for a dream to pull us through

 

gradually my children healed and climbed out of the depression....my eldest was working on a tv show with me and did all the editing late into the night every night she couldnt sleep anyway...we were busy with a new project and it was as survival mode in the end to work on a vision, a dream......and kept us from falling into despair....it also worked....not only for us but the people we met on the way.....

 

 

yes everything has a purpose.....dont give up ever....talk to heart an reassure yourself again...that you have a destiny and it is not lost when things change or frighten you....

 

 

love you

Anndrea x

 


Needing a quiet place - your life needs to be still - and find your direction andpurpose

Posted on July 5, 2018 at 6:40 PM Comments comments (0)


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           Sometimes we need to go to a quiet place - not like the horror movie "a quiet place" where if you dont keep silent the monsters will get you...but a place that is where you can be still and hear yourself.   ON the other hand maybe the monsters will get you in a sense if you dont go and get some peace in a secret place for you -  the monsters of fear, anxiety, dread, depression...  they can get you if you do not protect your mind if you do not have some time out...so simply but so necessary...we need the power to face life...and life will not be any simpler -  you have to step away from technology and find your refreshment foryou again...finding you...finding your power...and strength to stand...


My friends say I do too much that I rush around...I say I have to to get some peace and quiet I go out to write in coffee shops, I go to the beach...I go out all the time why not? They dont understand why of course...a noisy son....I cant focus at home but I get their point....I was at the gym the other night and the little gym bunny instructor girls were bouncing around alot more than normal I thought....and I love the dancing exercise thing....everyone is laughing and then puffing from exertion and I thought I feel like I am going to faint....yep it feels really tiring tonight....those girls are doing much more running around than usual....what is wrong with me?

I talked to another girl she said...it was a hard one...but maybe you are tired too...like a busy day? Youre right I said....I was doing this and that...driving...catching trains...trying to fix up my son and my daughters (they can fix themselves up) and writing lists, working out tax and organizing things....

I realized I wasnt resting ....like actually sitting still

 

people say they spend all day watching tv and I cant relate sometimes I think why?? Yet I understand you need to actually relax....but sometimes that means without anything at all...just actually sit still no electronic devices....or soundwaves....or electromagnetic waves....pounding your brain...

 

Just you and even better you and nature.....

 

 

When I had my first baby we lived on a golden grassy hill above a harbour in NZ I would get up early while my baby was asleep and sit outside and think and look at the view as the sun was just rising sometimes read and it did something for me....I could take the rest of the day....things inside me were still....unfettered and calm...

 

If we rush and let the stress push us along....and we keep a lifestyle that wrecks us, pushes us...our adrenalin will carry us for a while but then one day...your body andyour mind start to fall apart...all you need then is a crisis or emergency or one bad thing to happen and you cannot help yourself...or anyone else....

 

We need to sit still to find ourselves...and our calling....for life for purpose ...you never find it when you are rushing to the next item on the list

 

you have to make time to be still....

 

 

When I went to the Jenolan caves in the blue mts (Sydney) YOu could see deep down in the depths of the caves the deep pool of water way way below...if you could climb down to it its like two big lots of steps...there are 360 caves...I just did one of them....but there are other tours of the underground pool and rivers....

 

I believe each of us has that deep pool within us but when we are stirred up and rushing the waters are stirred up...there is no understanding or true perspective of life it is blurry it is stirred...unclear....

 

When we wait in the stillness the deep pool of water....the underground lake within in us....our spiritual side is allowed to bring its depths to us and change us....we can hear in the still our own voice....and the still small voice inside us....intuition / or divine/ call it what you will it is only then we are really listening....you have to take time for this andmake it part of your life...the pool at Jenolan caves or one of them is called the Pool of Reflections...the surface of the water is so still....almost completely that you can see the beautiful reflections of the rocks and minerals underneath the water reflection up to the surface....

 

We have to be still in order to take what life will throw at us....stress, disturbances, heartache, change.....losses, .....we have to be still when we are by ourselves to be strong in the madding throng of crowds out in everyday life....life is too short...

 

When Linda Bidabe(2001)....started helping cerebral palsy children to stand up and even to walk...she wondered if she was wasting her time it was such hard effort and would it even work? She had a concept of learning in children brings development in them rather than waiting for them to develop and then they can learn....it just does not work for disability kids....

 

She found if she got them walking...they would start talking....

When she doubted herself....she would hear a voice (in her head? or deep inside her) saying...."if you teach them they will learn - just do it anyway"

 

.....the kids look like they are just lying there and cannot hear you these little kids, even adults....you could think it was doing no good...but she persisted ...in moving them to a stand position and even inventing a standing frame...and then a walking frame...once they could move they would start developing in leaps and bounds and even growing in height...before that they were relegated just to lying there...many of these kids have normal intelligent minds but are locked in their bodies... Linda gave them hope... she had a sense of direction and purpose in herself....an amazing heroine....

We need to be still to find each of us our own deeper purpose to hear that 'small still voice' like the prophet from way back...Elijah... (841-853 BC 1 Kings 18)he did great works, great things...he defeated the bad evil false prophets and then he destroyed them...

 

he was alittle bit tired...he heard that Jezebel was after him and threatening him with a curse....he started running...and then it was raining....and he had told his servant to ride on the chariot before him....

 

...... after sitting for a second on a hilltop with his head on his knees and then looking at the cloud of rain Elijah gets second wind a sudden divine empowerment, and starts running even going ahead of the chariot... he kept running till he came to a tree and rested....and he decided that he wanted to die.....it was just all getting too much for him

 

maybe thats because it was too much for him

 

humanly that is

 

he couldnt do what he had to do with his life...

 

he needed something extra...power to live his extraordinary life....

 

 

But now he just wanted to die when he knew someone was threatening to kill him...of course it would not be a nice feeling...and yet he had just defeated 500 prophets of Baal....

 

he felt weak now.....he slept under a tree and found a cake to eat and water to drink but falls back to sleep he is so tired...an angel touches him and says...get up and eat and he does but falls back asleep...then a second time the angel touches him and says get up and eat for the journey is too much for you...so Elijah does what the angel says....

He was so tired he was not eating and drinking and it would have weakened him further...the angel knew Elijah needed sustenance to keep him going...to keep him on his journey....his own special journey....

 

we can be like that too ....we have a job to do...even finding a deeper purpose for our life we may not have found it yet...we are just scraping the surface...

 

it is deeper

we have to look deeper...

 

Elijah thought he just had to be a champion and slay the false prophets...but that was not his full purpose...there was more...

 

You think you have done everthing you were meant to do...you have had success but then something comes to knock you down...wait a minute I just did my purpose, my calling why is this happening? You got knocked off your perch....realize that what you did was fine and great..

 

but look there is more

much more

you have yet to do....to discover to find about your life your self...your destiny...

 

He needed the sustenance of the food and water while he was in such a weakened state and for the journey ahead

 

...of course we too need the cake and water ....spiritual food to feed on...spiritual water to refresh our spirit and soul with....and our physical side is affected...our emotional part is affected...for the better....

 

...without that food and drink we will not have the strength for our journey...to complete all we have to do in our lifetime....

 

Its a famous story....when Elijah has eaten his special food, he walks 40 days and nights on the strength of that food until he comes to a mountain....the mountain of God...he goes into a cave there and sleeps the night.

 

Forty is always the number of testing when it comes to bible....this guy had been tested...and was in a testing situation despite his great success...it was overwhelming the sheer fear and enormity of what had happened to him was making him afraid and weak and uncertain of his future...

 

he says to God I have done all this andnow they are trying to kill me and i did all these things....i have been faithful while the rest of your people have been unfaithful... he is told to stand on the mountain...because God is going to pass by...

 

...and when Elijah stands onthe mountain there is a wind, an earthquake, and a fire....and he's looking for the divine...waiting for Him but he cant find him....he was not in any of those amazing forces...now there is a gentle breeze and a 'gentle whisper' or 'small still voice' in different translations..... that comes to Elijah again and says what are you doing here? Elijah repeats the terrible situation.....the voice says go back the way you came and talk to this person and that person and do what I am telling you....they will become your allies....against those who are threatening you....

 

Basically in the cave and on the mountains.... this great man gets direction and the assurance that the divine is in control of what is happening.....in his world...even though it is in upheaval and frightening...

 

he has made contact with the divine andhis own pool of strength inside himself...and now he does what God is telling him.....He gets out on the road with a new strength and strong sense of destiny...he know his purpose and he is a different man because of this encounter this time alone...

 

 

We all need that ....to know why we are here....and what we need to do next...always you must take time to listen...to be still....let the stirred up muggy waters settle and clear and you will find beautiful reflections will come off your life - the greater the destiny the deeper the pool must be within your soul....the deeper the work in you....

 

you will see what it is you need to do....and you will find strength to do it....as that food and water is provided divinely for you to fed on and go forward.... powerful, stronger than ever before.... that is who you will be....

 

all the best with your life

Anndrea x

 

 

Tragedies and losses - needing the power to live in a dark world

Posted on July 5, 2018 at 6:40 PM Comments comments (0)
When i was in Melbourne I heard about the plane going down over Ukraine... I realized that now the oppression and upheaval of Ukraine and its struggles with Russia has affected the West... it was going to happen eventually...it had to in that the people there were struggling with no help but now the spotlight is on the Ukraine and its battling with Russia....I hate that it happened this way...shooting down a plane of innocents, how tragic the losses, the heartache of parents, of families torn apart by it all...

 

When I was at a coffee shop back home I was talking to a lady and her child and I said I was a resilience psychologist here’s my business card she said thanks we need this now...she was from Holland...the world is turning bad she said....yes it is I agreed....

 

I thought about it later and then heard about the eighty children dying from the plane being shot down... How cruel...how terrible...a friend of mine also a mother but with grown up children and grandchildren...said would they have suffered? I would hope that they didn’t...I said...really it was so fast and fatal they would be gone before they knew they had gone...and if you believed in after life they would have stepped straight into it without realizing it... And then they would have looked around and said...what has happened... This is not a plane anymore....where are we..?

 

The bible talks about the angels bearing the children in their arms to heaven...everlasting arms...I believe it...dear children...dear ones... Those left behind live with trauma heartache loss...it is unbearable....it can destroy you...and yet we are not destroyed....thats the power of love, the power that has been divinely given to us....which we can pass on to each other... I don’t know if people had time to call on God or call for any kind of help...maybe they clung to their children as it happened to protect them..instant reflex....you would....

 

We are more than flesh and blood....we have a soul part that will live on...it is not destroyed....no matter what... I know i will see my brother again who died at 18 years old....I miss him still of course its been years....you don’t forget....I came home the night he died and rushed into my children’s room to look at them and weep ...the gift of life is especially precious when you lose someone....it so permanent....there’s no chance to rewrite what you could say or do as I did over and over when my brother was gone....did I say I loved him? Did he know did he know?.....he knew he always knew....

 

we need power...the strength...divine...to cope with death...with life...and when we lose someone we need the grace to go on and not give up...though we will want to...the sun goes down...the sun comes up we are still here ...we keep going....through tears and sorrow...we must cling to each other....we must realize there is still are future... A new day....yesterday is gone Tomorrow still comes

 

In pain how can we endure?...sometimes we just have to get down on our knees and go to the throne....the throne of a King....there’s a God listening...can feel so distant....but he’s there..waiting to get close to us... I realized he was there all the time... like the moon so distant..but if you approach him he can become like a father so close...your heart senses it.... We must go and approach and we will find mercy....compassion ....love toward us each...no matter what we have done....who we are....how bad we feel...how lowly we feel....how worthless we feel.....and we find grace

 

Mercy waits..she waits and .compassion waits to pour oil into your aching wounds...and heal your soul.... Anyone can approach and as they do they will find grace....divine influence and power poured down into your heart...giving you the ability to keep going on Sometimes it just comes without even without approaching... divine grace gets poured on you... sometimes we think we are too bad...or people say you shouldn’t go to God only when things go wrong...when else should you go to him if not then? We may feel like a sinner.....He doesnt care about that....His love is there waiting for you.....he want s to help he knows your days they have already been written.. ....

 

We are knocked down but we are not broken....we are crushed but not destroyed...you spirit will keep on going .... I remember not long after being divorced the shock of it all.... not being able to look at my son....it was too hard... being married for so long it was strange and earth-shattering to not be anymore...but I had to grow and that was the way it would happen for me whether I liked it or not.....freedom is a strange thing...if you are not used to it you cannot see the benefits of it when you are thrown into it ...

 

I almost couldn’t think straight many days and on one particular day...I felt lost in a fog....as if you have to walk slowly.... a friend took me out and the fog lifted...I couldn’t do it on my own I needed a hand...a life boat sent to me....I was lost at sea in my own life and I was sinking...someone talked to me someone cared about me....sometimes it was one of my own children.... It would break the fog....

 

We can be lights in the fog to each other...when one of us is frozen in grief....weep with those who weep yeah its true....only real compassion will break through and simple acts of kindness are needed all the time....lights in the darkness....that’s what you are... here for a reason .....its no mistake...

 

All my love Anndrea x

 

 


Fighting for a special needs child...we must must stand up -Broken but not destroyed by life....we grow stronger...

Posted on July 4, 2018 at 8:55 PM Comments comments (0)
When everything goes wrong for us.....we can feel weak...things are beyond us...too much...crowding in....our strength is not enough...I feel feeble in the dark...lost and alone....

 

I have to listen....I have to listen to the quiet breeze that is blowing on my life and changing things...listen deep down inside me...where the crystal clear river is flowing and I might hear something I need to hear....a voice in the stillness calm and clear....telling me what I need to hear...a divine voice coming through in my spirit.....

 

I remember when I found out my son had a disability...I thought why? Why is this happening? hasnt enough bad stuff happened already...why this? I felt weak useless I couldnt help anyone how could I ? I felt bad about everything...I felt to blame....my situation was too much for me...I needed help from the divine...the hand on my life....I needed the grace....the divine ability helping me....

 

I felt the pressures of life pushing me down and it was worse now...I thought no one cared.....maybe they didnt...but I knew heaven did.....I thought I was walking alone with my burden...and then one day at a time....grace came when I got by myself and listened deep down inside in the caverns of my being and the river was flowing in me....

 

When you are weak that is when you will be strong....because you reach out to something greater than you...and it will come down from heaven the strength you need at that point....at that time of trouble ...when we want to give up and there seems to be no answers that is when miracles happen....when real grace and love comes through and you find your reality...

 

nothing fake can last here..... you will grow into someone greater because of it...someone better...someone realer......(no such word) you know what I mean....

 

Love is building deeper rivers in you.....you have to grow up and you will grow stronger from that...you will understand more about life and other people from this than you did before....

 

"Let the weak say I am strong!...." (Joel 3:10) when you feel weak you have to say....I am strong....and then let it happen ...say it speak it....heaven is behind you in all your battles...you have to stand up and fight...for what you know is right....

 

...and when you do your best and things dont work how you think....there is another plan you dont know about yet and it will be revealed as you wait ....and let your strength build....

 

When my special needs son started school...his teacher said she didnt want him - it was the the special unit but she resented another child joining it....she was nasty and hard....I went to the principal and he said whats wrong?...the teacher doesnt want him I said...I was crying and my husband picked up our son and walked out with him inhis arms....how can I protect my child I said to myself....?

 

I felt so weak why is this happening.... my daughters taught him to walk...when therapists said he wouldnt...they loved him so much....we were a stronger closer family unit.....relying on deeper grace and strength....you do your best thats all you can do....and the only thing left in the end is love...everything else will pass away....the pride, the things the lusts, the false people....all that is left is love and if you dont have that...there will be nothing left at all....the fires of life will burn until only the real gems are left...the precious stones....you are one of those.....and when its work is done you will shine in many colours.... andyou will be set in gold....

 

When my son went to another school and was seven years old the teacher moved him to another special class that was dark, had no windows and no pictures or colour in the room...the children there could not move....my son was the only one who could walk or move at all and was running around all these children who were lying on the floor.....she moved him without telling me...she and the principal of that school were buddies and had an agenda of helping each other...

 

I remembered how the other teacher of the first school got away with her bad treatment of children and I started fighting to put James back in the class (the original special class he loved) he should be in.....the principal and i had a fight on the phone...she said you just have to do what we say. I said thats what you think...

 

....I wrote letters to the school inspectors and members of parliament, education minister, and they rang the school constantly to see what was going on....it went on for six months and we had a meeting with the school inspectors and my advocate there for my son....we thrashed it out and the principal wouldnt budge....the inspector took her outside to talk and when the came in they said we will move some of theother kids into your sons class to make it better for him...I said ok ...but it still wasnt right...a few days later the principal rang and said she would move my son back into the class with the bright colours and windows and mobiles that was better for him.... she then went on long service leave....she had no compassion for special needs kids they were just a money maker for the school....

 

It was my first year at University at the same time as I was battling for my son.....I heard later that the principal had been keeping the teacher happy by moving James out of her class....

 

A few years later a mother told me how her son had been picked on by a teacher in that school while also being bullied by a big boy ...he was just a little six year old and he was so in trauma from the teacher shouting at him that he couldnt speak....his mother picked him up from the school office and never took him back....the school showed no compassion to her son and the mother was still getting over it years later it was still hurting her....

 

she said I wish I had stood up for him like you did with your son....I said thats ok the principal wont be coming back...she didnt get away with it this time.....you need to fight or you will get depressed if you didnt try....because you never got justice or tried to....I told her that at the first school I didnt try to fight I thought it was no use but that made it worse....this time I knew I had to fight for my son...so I did...and I won through for him....

 

you do what you can do....you go from strength to strength....but you have to have the battles to learn to be strong...and you have to listen to the small still voice....in the middle of all the turbulance....you will be strong....you will find it is there in you....and you are getting stronger all the time.... my precious friend....

 

all the best dear ones

 

Anndrea x

 

 

 

 

 

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When there is war and evil all around...holding onto each other and what is good...

Posted on July 3, 2018 at 3:30 AM Comments comments (0)


           Recently (July 2018)  it was noted in the news that Himmler's daughter had died at the age of 88 still supporting the nazi movement- her father was second to Hitler in organization that slaughtered the millions of Jews so systematically and coldly.   Yet this girl did not believe the holocaust occurred...and still did not at 88 years old....very strange   ... ridiculous and ignorant considering the many families who survived the holocaust and  lost their families...the soldiers who died...the many who suffered because of Hitler's nazi evil extermination of jews and others....so many when his idealogy spreading its dark claws to try to take the world...
thats what idealogy can do make you blind and ignorant and refuse to acknowledge the truth
perhaps Himmler's  little girl was so enamoured with her father (they say she was completely in adoration of him) she could not believe that he would do something wrong...she was called the princess by the nazi supporters...the little blonde aryan daughter and picture of perfection that Hitler promoted as perfection  when he himself was not aryan at all...such are the words and actions of delusional maniacs like him...who want to rule the world and want all the power... apparently she visited one of the concentration camps and only saw nice things - maybe they hid all the gas chambers, and starving jews from her?  How could she get it so wrong...and those who say there was no holocaust are defintely delusional...and refusing to see the facts and many records of those who endured that time...and others who did not and died...

I remember reading Anne Frank's diary when I was a teenager myself ...my father pushed me to, but I couldnt get into it.... in fact I felt depressed

about a girl who died in one of the Nazi's horrifying camps.....why would I would to read her words....? yet now I am grown up I can see there was a reason why it was so great. Anne wrote her life at the one of the most frightening times in the history of the world. A time when evil threatened to actually win....it looked as though it would....who would have thought that despot Hitler would start invading the world ....people were so complacent and unconcerned about what the maniac was up to, and then suddenly they had to fight for their lives, their countries....no longer burying their heads in the sand of money, material things and comfortable living....

 

 

When a few years ago I was looking at the holocaust evils of WWII and the diary of Anne Frank the little 13 year old teen who was hiding with her family (sister margot) in secret rooms in Amsterdam you can only wonder at their resilience and that they survived even the two years in hiding... so much evil surrounding invading Holland...the nazi poison....but the darkness could not put out the light of the Frank family...

Her father, Otto Frank was amazing on many levels....a good man...hard to find in this day and age he did the best he could at a time of great evil and pressure...as the discrimination against the Jews rose to fever pitch under Hitler's teaching and media efforts....Otto Frank moved his family to Holland from Germany in order to protect them...He was faithful he did not run out on his family when the chips were down

when life was hard

and the pressure of fear was all around....his first thought was to protect his wife and children....a lesser man would have cracked....

Otto had values in his life, a liberated Jew his family did not observe all ceremonies but nevertheless he had values and decency....he tried to get visas for his family out of Holland to America and Cuba but only one visa came in from cuba for him alone which he did not take and it was eventually cancelled when Germany and Italy declared war on America.... 

He had two businesses in Holland and he decided to put them under his friends' names who were non jewish to protect his family and at the same time bring an income in still for his own....as they hid themselves now trapped in Holland in 1940 when the nazis came in to that country.....

 The Dutch people were amazing and hid many Jews from the Nazis paying the price when they were found doing that....The Dutch Underground helped as many as 30,000 Jews and hid them of which only one third perished but so many more would have without the help of this courageous organization... the angels applaud these people for they did....their work was beyond gold.... as they went through the fires of evil encroaching Holland....

Otto Frank got his business and his money in order....he organized his life to save his family although they would be found eventually he did his best. That is all you can do....when darkness is around and oppressing...you must organize yourself and use your best and your wits and intelligence to work it out. YOu must not break down from fear.....you must think straight and calm yourself...

I remember reading about the Columbine High school killings happened in America, in 1999 April the same time as my daughter's birthday.....how the young girl Rachel Scott died when the boys with guns full of nazi craziness in their minds...killed her..... (Nimmo and Scott 2001)

....at the same time her brother was hiding inthe library and lay down with some bodies on the floor there and the shooters passed by him and out of the library .....after they left he prayed for fear to go and for God to give him courage...

....he immediately felt a peace and as he did he could think clearly and had the direction inside him which he felt was divine to get out of the library....he could have stayed frozen with fear...but he moved....he heard so other students crying for help and sitting there frightened he took them with him and got out of there.....just before the shooter boys came back looking for more students to kill inthe same library.

....evil was rampant that day and reared its ugly snake head...destroying many but it would not win....

In the same way it would not win with Anne Frank's family..... you can destroy the body but you cannot destroy the spirit or the soul......never....it is eternal... 

Otto Frank had enough strength and resilience to organize a hiding place for his beloved family although later they would perish....and he would be the only of this family to survive what time they had together in that hideaway place was the best time they could ever have had....no time to be selfish or hold grudges even though the stress of living with other families would make things hard....this was their last time together.... 

After the war Otto found out his wife and daughters, and his father had died...he could have given up...he could have hit the alcohol hard...maybe he did for a while...who could blame him really.....yet he did not stay there in grief and do nothing...he started to look at his daughter's things and found her diary.....and then he stepped out and published it.... he did it for her....he loved his daughter so much...this was his act of love for his family... 

not only that

but he turned his grief to purpose...and decided to make meaning from the terrible things that had happened...he would use his daughter's gift of writing to expose evil for what it was and its impact on the innocent ones in the world.....innocent children ....he had wanted to protect his daughters and wife from the darkness in the end it was no longer possible....they would be lost with all the other innocents in the terrible acts ......and yet there was still a light out of the loss....

From publishing Anne Franks diary, a little teenager's words....he was able to prove what had happened in the war and what had happpened to others while under occupation...Anne's words would be used as a light....and hope ....in a time of oppression she came through...her writing was wonderful....she started out writing for herself in her hiding place in Amsterdam until and then decided she would make it public to help those after the war....so she changed her diary....and wrote in it until the day they were captured...

and it did become a most famous voice from out of the terrors of darkness that threatened to destroy humanity then..... she was a testimony of light....and love....

Otto Frank was also courageous enough to stand up for the diary...as it was spoken against on many occasions as being a fake...as being written by him, as being written by someone else....spoken against by those who had been in Nazi youth, or were holocaust denyers....each time...Otto Frank put a lawsuit up against those people. In 1957, 1959, 1976 different opposers came against the diary.....the words of a little girl so powerful that evil men would continue to oppose it....because it was truth....she had recorded at that time....never underestimate the words of a teenager....their writing...their thoughts....they see it as it is....

Otto had Anne Frank's writing checked andher book was seen as authentic and including the paper and glue in it.....the original she wrote. After Otto died in 1980

he willed the diary and all papers of Anne's to the Dutch Institute for War Documentation and in 1990 the Hamburg regional court confirmed the authenticity of Anne Frank's diary....but in 1991 (so recently) another booklet was produced against Anne's diary calling it a lie....1993 a civil lawsuit was taken out against that booklet by the Anne Frank House...and finally in 1998 the Amsterdam district court forbade any further denial of the authenticity of the diary....evil had had its day of trying to stop Anne Frank's diary... 

Even in his death Otto had provided for his daughter's words to carry on...he was a great man and father.....he stood up against darkness that could have destroyed him and he stood up for his daughter....how great is that.?.. He was persistent in the face of evil he would now join his little girls in heaven, his sweet lambs, knowing he had done his best on earth for them in life and in death...and that would be the best feeling and knowledge of all....when they met again to hug and hold each other once more....

all my love

Anndrea x

Not wearing guilt - you must not...

Posted on July 3, 2018 at 3:20 AM Comments comments (0)

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When I was a young mother, my brother died, and I had a husband and two little children...that night I had been talking about an old school friend I used to live next to at my parents house, the one with the seven brothers.....when the fire alarms sounded the phone rang it was my old best friend on the phone telling me my parents house had burned down....we raced to the scene but my brother's body had been taken to hospital they said he didnt make it....

 

I had to find my mother and tell her he was in hospital possibly dead....she came with us to the hospital and the police man told us that he had died and could we identify the body...my mother was hysterical and tried to comfort her but it really was no use the policeman asked my husband to see the body and I left it at that.....

 

The moment was hard, surreal and we were distraught but I was keeping it together for my mother....even so of course she could never be comforted he was her favourite and he was her son...I understood....but it still hurt when she turned away....because I had also lost my brother.... and i thought they never treated him right anyway....now they mourn over a son who had gone off of the rails....a direct result of bad treatment....by my father who would never admit that....

 

For years after my brother died my mother would talk about how she never saw him, the body, how I and my husband had stopped her....I had more children four in all and a little baby son and kept close to my mother but she always would blame me for how it hurt her...what could I say? I let this go on and on and it depressed me and made me feel bad....how would she get over the grief? It was my fault she never saw him that night in hospital...until one a friend said to me

 

it wasnt you

 

what do you mean I said surprised...

 

You didnt stop your mother seeing his son it was the policeman...he said she was too hysterical...it was not your decision at all...it was out of your hands they told your husband to see the body...and when your mother approached the morgue a few days later they also wouldnt let her see him....he was not burnt but died from the smoke of the burning house...but they said remember him as he was.....they also made the decision...it was never you...

 

Youre right I said....I had worn that guilt for ten years and I threw it off now like a heavy coat that weighed me down...guilt and shame for doing the wrong thing...for hurting my mother...somehow tied in with the death of my brother who I loved so much....I was the blame for everything and worse still I had blamed myself...and could get over myself...I hated myself even for everything.... now I threw it off like that heavy overcoat that was weighing me down...hindering from moving on with my life in little ways...it was there stopping me making me feel bad about myself...

It was a revelation...and I was so glad to be free of the blame....it was releasing me to know the truth...now I could forgive myself....how wrong is it to put the blame on someone wrongfully....or to wear it and punish yourself always....you cant grow like that... you cant be you like that you need setting free...

 

so glad I was...

 

Guilt and fear are two of the main causes of depression and disorders coupled with shame they make an awful combination to pull you down and make you feel worthless.....we should not wear them....its time to take them off and forgive yourself....dont believe everything negative that you hear or that comes into your head...you are so precious so valuable and worth more that what you think or what others think....your life is gold and the hard times you endure build a seam of gold into your character gold that will take the fires of adversity should they come your way again....

 

We must throw off guilt and shame and break the fear that we are no good and we will never do anything...by telling ourselves the truth....you are good, you are here for a reason and there is a purpose for your life.....

 

You are great and good and wonderful andyou can take anything the world throws at you ....say to yourself everyday and break those chains of fear that try to take hold of your mind.....heaven is behind you and you will not be disappointed about what you can do if you believe in yourself again and in your own greatness...because trully there is more to your life than meets the eye....deep inside you are waiting for your time ....as you step out into the things you need to do you will be unveiled for who you really are...so awesome...

 

all the best

 

Anndrea x